The Redneck Christmas Blog

Well, it’s that time of the year again. It’s time for turkey and dressing, time for itchy sweaters and footed pajamas, time for hot chocolate and marshmallows, and its even time to break out the video camera and dig through the junk drawers to find a blank tape. It’s time to see the family that you don’t really care for but tolerate just for the sake of the season. And if you have family on the way in from out of town, it’s time to fold out the bulky, inconvenient hide-a-bed and be appalled by Uncle Bob’s incessant desire to pass gas at the dinner table . . . . . and giggle about it. Yes folks, it’s Christmas-time again.

On Christmas morning little Bobby will get a new battery-powered fire truck with all sorts of annoying bells and whistles, little Jerri will get some new Barbie dolls, Billy will get the latest war game to play on his X-box, Jen will get her first cell phone, Dad will get another tool to put into his toolbox, Mom will get a new house-coat with matching slippers, Grandma will get pictures of the kids, Grandpa will get a new fishing hat and pocket knife, etc.

Wrapping paper will be strewn from one end of the house to the other; the flash of the camera will keep blinding everyone, smiles, laughter, tears of joy, voices . . . . Christmas.

But in the midst of the entire Commercial hustle and bustle that we’ve made Christmas out to be – giving presents, sharing laughter, enjoying family – many times we don’t even mention the real reason why this time of the year is so very special. Sadly, the economic woes of the times are dictating the activities and thoughts of many during this season. Some who were in a better financial state in times past now worry if their children will get everything they wished for in their letter to Santa Claus. And, truthfully, “Santa” has a lot on his shoulders these days – what used to be acceptable for a child’s gift is now just a what-not to put on a shelf and look at. I believe Santa now has an account at Best Buy . . . . . but what do I know? (*wink*)

What ever happened to those good old days when things were simpler? Days when the only electronic device you’d get for Christmas might be a remote controlled car or truck? Days when some of the items in your stocking consisted of things that were actually useful, like an apple or an orange or a package of fresh, new socks?

I remember those days.

Back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper, my family and I lived in a trailer off of a little dirt road that adjoined to the black-top road about 100 yards away. Some people called where we lived a community, and others called it a “nook” in the woods. (If you’d say that now, there would be an onslaught of people heading to the woods to find an e-reader, but that’s another story for another day) “Town” (the big town of Bastrop, Louisiana) was twenty or so miles away. Winters seemed colder back then, but I must admit I spent a lot more time outside then than I do now. My Daddy was a farmer, and my Mama was a homemaker. The cash was scarce, and the bills were plentiful.

So Christmas was simple.

After setting out some milk and cookies for Santa, we would make our journey to Granny & Papaw’s house in town for Christmas supper and presents afterward. Supper has been served there at 6pm sharp every Christmas Eve for as long as I can remember. We would eat turkey and dressing, ambrosia, pistachio salad, and rutabagas. Well, I never ate the rutabagas. Rutabagas are one of those things I will have to ask God why He created when I get to Heaven. (Yuck!) But somehow they would always make it to my plate (and secretly get stuck in a napkin and tossed in the trash when no one was looking).

Then, after everyone was through stuffing their faces, we would gather in the small living room around Papaw Baker to hear him read the Christmas story from Luke Chapter 2. I hate to admit this, but my cousins and I weren’t nearly as interested in the Christmas story as we were the little white envelopes that were in Papaw’s shirt pocket. That was our Christmas present from him: A shiny, sleek, brand-new twenty dollar bill for each of us! One of us kids would be nominated to be “Santa” and pass out the Christmas gifts. Another given was my Aunt who was an Avon distributor. We always knew that we’d be getting some deodorant or cologne from her. Then, Papaw would ever-so-slowly reach into his shirt pocket and pass out those cherished little white envelopes to each of us.

After we said our good-byes, we made our way to the even smaller town (more like a dot on a map) of Bonita, Louisiana where Grandmaw and Grandaddy Johnson were awaiting our arrival. This worked out well for me because they had already eaten their Christmas supper and the leftovers were still on the table. And, remembering the rutabagas that I had secretly tossed in the trash, I would always sneak to the table while no one was looking and munch on some more spectacular Christmas food. More presents, more laughter, more family.

Realizing it was getting pretty late, Mama & Daddy would say their goodbyes, load up the presents, and start the journey home down the long, winding Hopkins Hill road. It seemed like it took an hour to get home. I couldn’t wait to see if Santa had made his stop at our home yet (although I never quite understood how he got in since our trailer didn’t have a chimney).

Mama would always point out the now half-glass of milk and the half-eaten cookies to me, but I was more interested in what was under the tree. I remember getting my first set of Tinker-toys one Christmas, as well as some G. I. Joe action figures. I even got the He-Man and Skeletor action figures from the Masters of the Universe cartoons! And as always, when all of the presents were unwrapped, Daddy would point out that the stockings on the wall were full. So we’d pilfer through and find more goodies that “Santa” had left behind.

Looking back on those times makes me realize that we have commercialized and compacted Christmas to such a degree now that our children believe Christmas was all about getting “stuff”. Yes, that is part of it. But getting “stuff” would not be possible without the participation of loving family members that make it happen. Without family, none of this even matters. What child wants to receive a gift and open it alone? That’s no fun.

That’s why I love the fact that Mary and Joseph weren’t all alone that night in the barn. Oh sure there was the occasional braying of the donkey and lowing of the oxen, but that doesn’t bring comfort like the words of excited shepherds can.

The shepherds. Think about those guys the next time Uncle Bob runs everyone away from the dinner table. The shepherds were the outcasts of society. Plus they didn’t smell that great. You certainly wouldn’t catch a Pharisee or a Scribe shaking hands with one of these scrubby fellows. Yet they were the very ones who witnessed a manifestation of the Heavenly host singing “Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth, peace; good will toward men.” God chose to tell them about the greatest miracle of all time FIRST.

Christmas is about the greatest gift ever given, in the oddest way possible. A baby, a hay-filled manger, some swaddling clothes, farm odors, and stinky shepherds. Not the best circumstances, and certainly not the most sanitary.

Yet, this is the way that God chose to implement His Master plan of redemption for you and I.

And He chose to use the comfort and means of the family to do it with.

Many people in our society today testify to their belief that the family no longer matters – that it’s outdated and needs to be “traded in” on more modern cultural norms. Kids don’t even want to come home for Christmas anymore for any number of reasons. “I don’t like him”, or “I just don’t fit in”, or “They’re not my ‘kind’ of people anymore”, or (I love this one) “They’re just too old-fashioned”.

Or, what’s worse is the 24/7 news cycle that tries to spin Christmas into some sort of quasi-magical family time where people get together and exchange gifts for no other reason than exchanging gifts, and not even mention the word “Christmas”. Instead they substitute it with “holiday” or “seasonal” day. Holidays are important, and family is important, but listening to the liberal media describe Christmas and the reason we celebrate this time of the year is about like listening to Jack Kevorkian describe himself as a compassionate guy. And Heaven help us all if they attempt to describe the purpose for the advent of the Messiah! The secular world just doesn’t get it.

Just remember during this holiday season that the reason Christmas is a big deal is, not only because He is the Savior of the world, but also because of family: a husband and wife that couldn’t find any room at the inn, but found comfort in having smelly surroundings and smelly shepherds present at the birth of their first child. Our Savior was born with earthly parents that, despite all odds, surrounded Him with love. He was a part of a family here on this earth. And Christ would go on to provide access for all of us into God’s family by His death, burial, and resurrection.

Though Uncle Bob’s flagellates disgust you, remember he’s still family. Though your Grandparents are “old-fashioned”, remember that they’re still family. And even though you may already know that your Aunt is going to get you some deodorant from the Avon catalog for Christmas, just remember she’s still family. Love them. You’re making family memories that will last a life-time.

God accepts us just as we are and gives us the privilege of being an even bigger part of His family of misfits and mess-ups. We’re far from perfect, but thanks be to Him that we’re forgiven!!!